Whispers of Silence

Someone once told me, when two individuals start enjoying the silence between them, that is when they get completely comfortable with each other. I was too young to understand it at that time and kept wondering for quite some time that day, what does enjoying silence mean? It can simply be called an observation or a belief of that person but somehow it stayed with me all through the years. I guess I can really appreciate the depth of this statement completely now. Two individuals can stay comfortably in silence only when they no longer feel the necessity to fill the space with their voice powered thoughts. A lot can be said without actually saying any of it and a lot can be heard without actually hearing any of that. If there is a connection, it naturally gets conveyed from one heart to another while in the absence of that connect, no amount of words seem adequate to do the needful.

 

Voice doesn’t take long or much to become noise.

 

After many years of being introduced to the magic of silence, today I want to extend it a little further. When we start enjoying silence in solitude, that is when we get completely comfortable with who we are. We feel liberated from the obligation of keeping our faculties gainfully engaged and we make peace with our surroundings but more importantly we enter a peaceful state with ourselves which transcends all strata.

Silence entails letting things be, without getting invested in them, including the thoughts. It implies withdrawal of energies from what is outside to what is inside. Silence of a person does not imply indifference towards oneself or towards the surroundings. Nor is it burdened by any emotion as emotions usually have the capability of clouding all in their vicinity and thus can rob the essence of true silence.

The wonders of what comes after having experienced silence in its true spirit, can be felt only after achieving that, it can neither be explained nor can it be pretended. Only in silence can we get to delight in the opera of - the palpitations of our heart, the sound of our breath, the flow of our life blood and the analysis and inferences of our mind at work.

It is in silence that one gets to actually meet, know and understand one’s own self - completely and thoroughly.

 

Change of Guard

The long ferocious summer days come with a dazzling orange blanket stretched in the open, almost endlessly, reducing everything in sight, to cinders. Anyone who dares to not bow to the sheer strength and power of fire, is befittingly disciplined. They continue to test the endurance and fortitude of one and all, day after day, incessantly. It appears that during this time, the Sun and its accoutrements embody attributes like valour, firmness and unwavering resolve.

 

I for one, follow the path of this ball of fire, pretty closely. I keep waiting to see its fiery cloak recede up the walls and the tall trees late in the evening after a prolonged summer day. That is the precursor to the time when finally the moon is permitted to offer its soothing hand to the scorched bodies and souls as if trying to heal the wounded warriors of a war after sundown.

 

But lately, the air is carrying the harbinger of change…

 

Although the bright scorching sun during the daytime still tries to deceive one into believing otherwise but it falls short in covering up those telltale signs. The dawns and dusks hold the testimony to that.  There are some very subtle signs that the change of guard is happening in nature these days. It is  just a matter of days before one would see no resemblance of the fire-spitting sun with its lack-lustered incarnation.

 

Winters have a completely different spectacle for the viewers who generally enjoy watching nature's drama in awe and admiration. There are days when one can easily mistake the sun for the moon, as the former appears as cold and as white as the latter. On such days, it is best to stay indoors, hibernate and wait for the sole brightest star to live up to its glorious reputation.

 

When the Sun does decide to appear with its benevolent warmth on some of the winter days, it naturally becomes the most cherished entity for one and all. I love to keep a close watch on the path of its rays on those days too. The same orange cape that seems to be unshrinkable on the heat spewing days, tends to be in a tearing hurry to recede back soon.

Seeing it moving thus, I often wonder:

what if I could pull down the last corner of the sunrays that is about to move up the wall leaving me longing for more,

what if I could tuck it nicely underneath me like a quilt on those freezing nights,

what if I could knit a sweater out of those bright orange sunrays and wear them day and night

what if I could hold those close to me when I am cold,

what if they could keep me thawed with their warmth and  love always.

what if I could convince even the eerie icy winds to take a nap under their warm cover …

what if…

 

And once again, the orange hue becomes much more than just a colour - an embodiment of warmth, care, affection and endless joy.

Tea and Me

Dear Tea,

 

You made an entry into my life quite unceremoniously. I think it was sometime during the hostel years. The evening snack in the hostel mess was always laced with your aromatic presence. I started enjoying your "made for each other" combination with samosa/bread-pakora/potato-cutlet, during that time. The little chit chat with the batchmates and sometimes with others across batches after a long college day made it a classic unwinding time for us - sitting wherever one felt like - on the stairs leading to the mess, on the green lawn or on the chairs set in random arrangement. Sometimes those trivial talks turned into serious discussions on certain topics, planning for some upcoming hostel event,  or confiding in each other. There is something special about unregimented times, it even manages to open the unlocked doors and unvisited corners of one's heart.

 

Dear tea, during the same time, your Sunday morning appearances became very special for my mother and I at home. After five days of college, I would look forward to be with her for the weekend. Somehow Sunday got unofficially designated as the day for certain time consuming activities like - oiling and washing hair, doing laundry and finally packing the bag in the evening for the next five days in the hostel. Incidentally that was the era when TV programmes had very limited interference in people's daily routines. Rangoli (a medley of Bollywood songs presented on a certain theme) was among a few TV programmes which my mother and I enjoyed watching together. So that half an hour in the morning became our together time - head massage by my mother, tea drinking and Rangoli watching. The same picture comes to my mind whenever I feel the urge to define the word 'relaxation'.

 

Tea, I could see that you were slowly becoming more and more dear to me but I really appreciated that you never tried to impose yourself on me nor did you try to claim any undue favour. Your mere 4-5 sips satiated me always, never meddling with the rest of my food habits. You stayed by my side as a very understanding and dependable friend who always surfaced to give a virtual warm hug whenever I needed one.

 

Moving on to the next phase of life. Dear tea, you integrated beautifully in the routine of the two of us. The weekdays, with the office routine of the both of us, were a little rushed but you always brought a welcome pause on the weekends. The times, post relatively  elaborate weekend breakfasts(I should rather call them brunch) still hold a special place in my heart . It was the time to talk, to share, to watch an old Hindi movie in the foreign lands (the charm of which is something entirely different) and similar such. We both were studying for a few courses after marriage and our house at that time almost looked like a hostel room. You brought the much needed breaks when we studied late into the nights.

 

I think it was during this time that I realised that for me you are not just a beverage, you are a feeling, an emotion, a state of mind, a fantasy and much more. You bring me immense pleasure and joy when I share you with a person whom I love and admire. I think this is the reason, weekend tea-times are still very special to me.

 

Many years have passed since you made your first appearance in my life and I can say - I don't drink tea because I have to, but because I look forward to the whole picture that becomes perfect with your presence.

 

There are actually certain images in my mind which get more beautiful and worthy to strive for when I imagine them with you in a tiny, bright-hued cup, infusing the perception of leisure to the whole illustration.

 

Dear tea, I want you to know that you are a cherished companion, a friend and a very significant part of my fantasies of happy, peaceful and relaxed times.

So, thank you for being you!!!

Oneness...

As I sat today to write something, I wondered what should it be: my analysis of the unprecedented times that we all are witnessing currently, about the wisdom this situation has(or should have) imparted to humankind, about my personal learning curve, on nature getting a free reign to exhibit its prowess or perhaps something on the many disturbing issues - precious lives being reduced to mere numbers, endless woes of migrant workers and underprivileged or similar such.

 

I am sure all of us have read, analysed and discussed at length about these over the past three months. I decided to refrain from all, despite the fact that I strongly feel about each one mentioned (and many more unlisted).

 

Even if the times are gripped in the tangles of fear, uncertainty and anxiety, life doesn’t cease to continue. In fact, these are precisely the times which offer immense opportunities to an individual to reorient oneself towards what one deems absolutely significant in one’s life. 

 

For me, it is something that gives me perspective, solace and peace. Hence trying to bind that feeling in words here:

 

I am the sparkling dew drops on a new petal

I am a tiny crease on one of the shriveled faces

 

I am in the dimness of the dusk and of the dawn

I am in the brilliance of the bright noon

 

I am the crowning splash on the rising wave

I am the lowest point in the ebbing ocean

 

I am that silence in the darkest spot of the night

I am also the deafening noise surrounding the peace

 

I am a tiny speck on the slope of a mighty mountain

I am that fluffy cloud shadowing the summit of the cliff

 

I am the froth dancing with a merry cascading river

I am a pebble happily settled mutely on the river bed

 

I am at the zenith of the towering redwood tree

I am a blade of grass rising its head from the crack of soil

 

I am in the varied merging hues in the sky

I am the pristine white and also the stark black

I am in the vastness of this “Nature” and yet

I am in the minutest of the details in everything

 

I reside silently in every thought and every emotion

I am also in the multitude of actions and the activities

 

I am in all and all are in me, validating the oneness

I know, I am just a part of that ultimate supreme

hE always resides in mE and I in hIm and thus

I am, what He wants me to be !!!

To 5, from 45

I see her quite vividly in a floral printed frilly frock.
She was fidgety and feisty - a bundle of boundless energy, enthusiasm and excitement, hardly knowing what all that truly meant. She had time to spare for everything in the world - from accompanying whoever stepped out of the house, to giving company to one and all, from being a part of any conversation in the house, to being a spectator or a listener anytime anywhere and for anyone who desired to have (or not) one. With time, she grew up to be a strong-willed and an impassioned individual. She developed emotions, rather fierce - of any and all kinds. She loved deeply and hated even more passionately. Situations and experiences in life continued to essay the script of her life. At 45, if I see that same 5 year old around, I would love to tell her a few things to remember, as life begins its task of carving her with its knives and chisels -
 
Adding grace is good but the sprint in your feet is too high a price to pay for it.
Embrace every emotion but let the deluge of emotions not wash away the natural sparkle in your eyes.
Laugh more and longer, and do not let this laughter lose the directions to your lips ever.
 
Do not let the definition of your identity lean on the presence or pleasure of any ‘name, place, animal or thing’. Make an effort to keep redefining yourself - for yourself.
Do not be afraid of voicing your opinion but set it free from the condition of being heard.
Do not let the quantum of work worry you ever. Feel grateful that you have been handpicked for the same.
Don’t wait for anything or anybody because it tends to siphon the energy reservoir of a being. Know and remember that yearning does not make things happen.
Work extra hard to not let the battering of years wane the innocent twinkle in your eyes.
 
Always retain your energy, enthusiasm and excitement, rather, keep refueling them from time to time.
Feel free to harbour strong feelings and emotions, nurture them warmly, guard them protectively but learn to not let them seep through to your inner self. 
Do ensure to have that 'spare time’ always because only when the required is accomplished efficiently, does one get the opportunity to knock the doors of possibilities and potentialities.
Let your dreams soar high because they must. Value them because they are most dear to you. Chase them because no one else can and will.
Feel proud of your accomplishments (significant or otherwise) because you would know exactly what all went in making each one possible. 
 

Live every moment before it hands you over to the next.